LaurenM

Hi all,

I found out that my daughter's club team has an "initiation ritual" that rather concerns me. Apparently the other girls on the team tell all the new players that they have to play at least one game without underwear. This came to my attention before we were leaving for last week's game. It was obvious to me that my daughter had on her volleyball shorts without underwear. When I asked her what she was thinking, she initially said that she "forgot". But it was clear to me that something else was going on because by the time we were ready to go, she still hadn't put them on. This is when she told me about the other girls on the team coming up with this ridiculous rule of not wearing panties as some kind of rite of initiation. I had to put my foot down and tell her that this was unacceptable. I explained to her in no uncertain terms that we wouldn't allow her to go play if it she didn't put them on.

Has anyone on the forums ever heard of anything like this before? I had a conversation with some of the other parents and no one was aware of this. Some, like me, were concerned but some seemed to be under the impression that is was fairly normal for players not to wear underwear under the uniform. This seems questionable to me, but I'll admit that I don't know much about it since our family is pretty new to the sport.

I'm hoping that the parents can collectively talk to their daughters and explain that it's inappropriate to pull something like this if for no other reason than that if they want to be respected as serious athletes, they need to distance this kind of petty games. Furthermore though, these games are attended by not just parents but by classmates and presumably even members of the public. It's not a conversation I really wanted to have with her, but I had to explain that without underwear it's very possible for spandex to cling to contours down there and, possibly without knowing it, allow people to see her genitalia. Of course she looked at me like I'm crazy and just too old. :-( Ultimately, I can't help but feel for my daughter because there's no doubt that she's in an awkward position trying to manage the peer pressure.

Anyway, I'm sorry to make such a long post, but I frankly could use some fresh perspective on this -- hence the posting to a random internet forum. Anyone run up against this before?

Lauren

Ayshah Pearson

Hi Lauren,

Wow that is dodgy! I would be suss too.

I haven't directly experienced anything like this, but I have close friends who have in hockey which I used to play too. I would say what's happening is a cheeky form of sexual harrassment. Have you talked to your daughter about this? Peer pressure can be such a prick sometimes! All the best.

Ayshah.

dvolley17

How old is your daughter?

When I was in high school, the first year I was on Varsity, we were exposed to the same "initiation." I didn't do it. I was very modest and thought the same as you do. Just made sure no one could tell (see below).

But, when I got older, other teammates would make fun of girls who wore underwear bc you could see underwear lines. In fact, in one college match, guys in the crowd were yelling out the style of panties my teammate was wearing when she went back to serve. I felt so bad for her.

So, to answer your question. I'd look for spandex that have a liner or wear seamless panties (or a thong) and make sure her spandex aren't too tight.

Hope this helps.